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GOP Rep: Deploying 2,500 Marines To Iran Isn’t Really ‘Boots On The Ground’

March 17, 2026
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GOP Rep: Deploying 2,500 Marines To Iran Isn’t Really ‘Boots On The Ground’
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Oh wow, thank goodness Texas Republican Rep. Pete Sessions cleared that up—deploying 2,500 Marines to “secure” an island isn’t actual combat boots on the ground, it’s just… aggressively vacationing with extremely well-armed tourists. Totally different from anything messy like urban fighting in Iranian cities.

History will surely remember this as the moment war became optional based on vibes and word choice. Sessions apparently doesn’t believe that boots on the ground are really boots on the ground if they’re on an island, which obviously has ground and will soon have boots, too.

Sessions was interviewed by CNN’s Kate Bolduan, who may or may not have wanted to shove her boots up his ass after he turned himself into a crazy-time pretzel trying to respond to her legit question, noting that people “sending their loved ones overseas, they will think that deploying to Kharg island is boots on the ground.”

“No, I really want to make this point,” Sessions said. “When we think boots on the ground, we think going back to Somalia, we think going back to Iraq, we think about going to Afghanistan.”

“That is not what we are talking about, or at least I am,” he continued. “I’m talking about to secure this facility, the oil facilities, which are in everyone’s best interest.”

Bolduan interrupted to explain to the numbnut that Kharg “is Iran.”

The 20,000 residents of Kharg Island and the 2,500 Marines being sent there will definitely describe it as “boots on the ground.” The definition of boots on the ground is: ground troops engaged in active service in a military operation. And that’s what would be happening in Iran, specifically, Kharg Island.

How about sending Trump’s ICE goons to Iran instead, eh? Or is that something they don’t have the cajones to do? It’s probably much easier for them to shoot Americans in the face with impunity.

BOLDUAN: But you know that other people, when they are sending their loved ones overseas, they will think that deploying to Kharg island is boots on the ground

SESSIONS: You’re entitled to your opinion but my point is I don’t think they are facing enemy combatants when they secure oil facilities

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar.com) 2026-03-17T12:38:56.490Z



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