Welcome back to “The United States of America: The Reality Show.”
Your host, “President” Donald Trump, conducts each day of his administration as if it were an episode of “The Apprentice.” He’s always looking for someone to fire — or throw under the bus.
He has gone from standing up and shouting at Nuremberg-style rallies two or three times a week to sitting in the Oval Office where, with appropriate props, he opines about the B-2 bomber, the “One Big Beautiful Ballroom” and his “One Big Beautiful Blue” reflecting pool.
He now limits public interactions to small numbers of people who work for him or cheer him on, or who he can easily control. To deal with others, he has sent Karoline Leavitt, his pep secretary, into the Brady Briefing Room to handle the reporters he despises. Those interactions are now limited to once a week instead of daily.
When Leavitt recently went on paid maternity leave — something most American women cannot get — Trump found himself assigning other members of his staff to the chore of briefing room guest host, much as Johnny Carson used to do when he took nights off from “The Tonight Show.”
So far Trump has assigned four guest hosts and has made history in doing so. The vice president, the secretary of state, the secretary of the Treasury and the administrator of the Centers of Medicare & Medicaid Services have all appeared to face the press, marking the first time that any person in any of those positions has ever conducted a routine briefing on the president’s behalf.
Alexander Haig, then the secretary of state, famously shouted, “I’m in control here” in the briefing room after the attempted assassination of Ronald Reagan on March 30, 1981. But to substitute for the press secretary? It’s unheard of for Cabinet members or the vice president to take such a lowly job. Maybe Dr. Mehmet Oz getting tasked with it is somewhat more appropriate. Of course, rumor has it that Oz became a substitute host because he’s auditioning for the Health and Human Services job currently held by Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
Everyone who has taken on the guest host role shares a few things in common: They’ve all praised the president and deflected any and all responsibility away from him. Their appearances have also offered us some insight into potential future GOP leadership and the question of who might carry forward Trump’s, ahem, legacy.
These guest host appearances in the briefing room have offered us some insight into potential future GOP leadership and the question of who might carry forward Donald Trump’s, ahem, legacy.
So let’s assess each of them, beginning with the first person to serve as substitute anchor, Secretary of State Marco Rubio. He’s the one-man band of the Trump administration. Rubio wears several hats and is often credited with being the brightest person serving in the administration. While that’s an admittedly low bar to crawl over, let’s take a look:
Secretary of State Marco Rubio
Appearance date: May 5, 2026
Length of time in the room: approximately 49 minutes.
He opened the door to the briefing room a crack, drew a laugh as he pretended to sneak in, made a short announcement and took questions. He was professional, didn’t insult the Democrats, defended the president and covered a wide variety of subjects including the War Powers Act, The war in Iran, the Strait of Hormuz, Russia, the pope, China, Cuba, Venezuela, the economy and the price of gas, as well as joking that he should use a laser pointer to choose which reporters could ask him a question. While Rubio defended the president, he wasn’t demeaning.
Most poignant moment: Speaking about American history, Rubio said, “I think in the U.S., we’re not perfect. Our history is not one of perfection, but it’s still better than anybody else’s history. As we come upon this 250-year anniversary, I think we have a lot to learn and be proud of in our history. It is one of perpetual and continuous improvement where each generation has done its part to bring us closer to fulfilling the vision that the founders of this country had upon its founding.” No one else in the Trump administration has ever been that reflective — or that hopeful.
Funniest moment: When he said the room was “chaos,” a reporter shouted out, “Welcome to the White House.”
Biggest lie: “The war is over,” he claimed. “Operation Epic Fury is concluded. We achieved the objectives of that operation.” That statement has haunted the administration since he uttered it.
Worst moment: Rubio said the U.S. just wanted the situation in the Strait of Hormuz to be “the way it was.” It was that way before Trump started the war. So remind us why it was necessary?
Overall, he was the best guest host. Maybe that’s why the next guest host showed up. Vice President Vance might face Rubio in 2028 for the GOP presidential nomination. So, two weeks later, he made his own appearance, trying to best the secretary of state before the White House press corps. Here’s a hint: He didn’t.
Vice President JD Vance
Appearance Date: May 19, 2026
Length of time in the room: approximately 55 minutes
“The war is over,” Rubio claimed. “Operation Epic Fury is concluded. We achieved the objectives of that operation.” That statement has haunted the administration since he uttered it.
Vance walked out with his head down and smiling. That was as good as it got. He conducted his briefing as if he was auditioning for the job he already holds. He lasted five minutes longer than Rubio and covered China, fentanyl, Iran, Russia, AI, the pope, the anti-fraud task force, Rep. Ilhan Omar, immigration, the southern border, Jan. 6, Charlie Kirk and other non-issues. He complimented a reporter on her “beautiful cross necklace,” and told us the president was “locked and loaded” and ready for Iran. “The president is willing and able to go down that pathway if we have to,” he told us, while repeating the rhetoric about the war being over and adding, “We have an opportunity here, I think, to reset the relationship that has existed between Iran and the United States for 47 years.”
Worst moment: All of it. He oozed condescension and assumed superiority.
Most honest moment: When asked a question he said, “I’m a politician. Maybe I won’t even answer the one that you asked, but I will try at least to answer one question.”
Inadvertently funniest moment: Vance praised Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton and said he “is going to be a great senator for the people of Texas.” He claimed that he loved incumbent Sen. John Cornyn but that Paxton “was there for the president,” and if you’re “out of step with the president of the United States, that’s not a good place to be politically.”
He repeated Rubio’s line about chaos, denounced former President Joe Biden on several occasions and told so many lies about the war in Iran it would be easier to point out how often he told the truth — if he had ever done so.
He claimed we were in a “ceasefire” situation “where we’re trying to get a negotiated settlement that gets the American people the things that we need for our national security.”
Those things included no nuclear weapons for Iran and free travel through the Strait of Hormuz. He also conveniently forgot to remind everyone we had those things before Trump started a war.
Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent
Appearance date: May 28, 2026
Length of time in the room: Approximately 31 minutes
Bessent walked to the podium with a wry smile. He told everyone it was a pleasure to be there as a dress rehearsal for testifying before Congress. The joke fell flat, but Bessent was undeterred. I kept waiting for him to ask “Say, do any of you guys know how to Madison?” Yes, he still reminds me of Brad Majors in “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.”
Bessent has neither the background nor the experience to handle the press. He was lackluster and stuck mostly to talking about Trump accounts, taxes, 401k’s, digital currency and interest rates, though he did have to handle a few questions on Iran, AI, Cuba and antifa.
His innate ability to fawn over Trump came just a few moments into the briefing when he said, “President Trump is a great American who has endured more than 10 years of nonstop harassment and weaponization from the federal and state government actors.”
He tried to make a few more jokes that fell flat. He criticized the Washington Post over an article about the administration’s attempt to put Trump’s face on the $250 bill. One reporter in the room said, barely audibly, “He’d be better on the $3 bill.”
Most honest moment: A reporter noted that both the vice president and secretary of state had already been guest hosts in the briefing room and asked Bessent if his presence meant he was running for president in 2028. He said, “No. I think it just means they’ve run out of things on the food chain.”
Bessent criticized a Washington Post article about the administration’s attempt to put Trump on the $250 bill. One reporter in the room said, “He’d be better on the $3 bill.”
Biggest lie: “What we’ve seen is actually oil prices are down about 10 percent in May. … We could see prices come down very quickly.”
Worst moment: Plenty to choose from. I’ll go with this statement: “With the Iranian government we did not have regime change, but we changed the regime.”
Best moment: When he left.
Dr. Mehmet Oz
Date of appearance: June 2, 2026
Approximate length of appearance: 39 minutes
Oz walked into the room sounding like the studio head Jack Woltz in “The Godfather.” Obviously enamored with himself, he told the press corps that talking to us was “like I’m talking to a classroom.” He preached about Obamacare, ACA fraud, Turkey, the World Cup, the Trump prescription website, hospice care, COVID mandates, Medicare and Medicaid fraud, forced vaccinations and pharmaceutical manufacturing.
He spent the first 10 minutes on an opening statement that sounded like it had been written to put Trump to sleep in a Cabinet meeting before he took questions, providing few answers.
Biggest lie: “It is it is an embarrassment that during COVID we allowed ideology and fear to dictate healthcare policy.” Unless he was referring to Trump’s handling of COVID, the statement made no sense.
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Funniest moment: Praising Bessent’s “dry humor.” Claiming that Rubio is “just an earnestly funny person” and as an afterthought adding, “JD was spectacular.”
Worst moment: He said he was stunned at how healthy Trump is. “That amount of energy and that amount of mental acuity does not exist in a vacuum.”
Inadvertently humorous moment: When asked why the president keeps going back for more medical checkups, Oz said: “I think he likes the results. He does really well. He aces the test every single day.”
Assessing these four guest hosts is, ultimately, an unnerving and dreadful task. Leavitt herself is the worst press secretary I’ve covered since I walked into that briefing room for the first time in 1985. Her replacements, with the sole exception of Rubio, are far worse.
But how bad has it gotten that the veep or secretary of state must conduct a press briefing — and how much worse will it get before the end of this administration?
In a fever dream brought on by a combination of the on-again, off-again war, reading too much Hunter S. Thompson and imbibing a bottle of Kentucky bourbon while ingesting Trump’s Adderall, I could imagine Melania walking into the room to brief us, wearing her famous jacket, the one that says, “I don’t care, do you?”
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from Brian Karem
