Jimmy Kimmel didn’t hold back during his opening monologue this Wednesday and summed up nicely what it’s been like for the sane among us watching this maniac Trump play games with our livelihoods and our economy.
As Kimmel rightfully noted, in the end Trump and his enablers are trying to give Trump credit for solving the crisis he created, and it was a nice rebuttal, without directly invoking her name, to the nonsense we watched Laura Ingraham spew on Fox.
KIMMEL: This is day 79 of Trumppomania. It has been, it’s been fun watching this lunatic gamble our life savings this week. It’s like it’s like handing a Social Security check to your dog and sending it to Caesars Palace. If the dealer has 16, stay, a-okay, stay.
It was another roller coaster of a day. Trump this morning hit the snooze button on almost all those big beautiful tariffs he levied. He paused the tariffs for 90 days, which puts us at right around the 4th of July to blow things up again.
90 days of turmoil now, but the world of finance was relieved, to say the least. The market shot way up today. The S&P had its biggest day since 2008. Wall Street was up 12 percent.
Think about that. The best thing Trump has ever done for America was undo the incredibly dumb thing he did.
I mean if you imagine if he quit he could usher in a whole new era of… (crowd screams)
For now, our job, I guess, is to sit back and watch him take credit for solving the financial crisis he created.
The Dow is still down more than 1600 points from where it was when he started this unnecessary mess.
And if you’re a small business owner who’s worried about having a close up shop because of unpredictable costs, President Trump would like you to know he won a golf tournament this weekend.
But before he backed down, Uncle Scam offered words of reassurance to the millions of Americans whose retirement funds he exploded. He wrote, “Be cool. Everything’s going to work out well. The USA will be bigger and better than ever before!”
Be cool everyone. Be cool like Fonzie. Be as cool as a cucumber that will soon cost $9 a piece and then, three hours after he told everyone to chill, Calvin B. Coolidge did a complete 180 and put a pin in his plan.
He stopped the tariffs without a single deal, with a single country in place. So much for that spine of steel. That’s what his press secretary said about him yesterday.
She said the president won’t cave. He’s got a spine of steel. Turns out the spine of steel was no match for the brain of mashed potatoes.
It has been funny watching them try to spin this as Trump’s Secretary of the Treasury Scott Bessent praised his master’s decision to delay the tariffs.
He said “It took great courage, great courage for him to stay the course until this moment.”
That’s right. He stayed the course. It was a golf course, but he stayed it. He did not stay the course. He drove the economy into a sand trap and took a mulligan. That’s what he did.
The White House was trying to play this like it was some grand strategy, like this was the plan all along.
The White House press secretary said it was just another example of the art of the deal, but that’s not what Trump himself said.
He was meeting with some winning race car drivers and inadvertently gave the real reason for his Merrill Fynch.
REPORTER: You’re thinking about why you decided to put a 90 day pause.
TRUMP: Well, I thought that people were jumping a little bit out of line. They were getting yippy, you know, they were getting a little bit yippy, a little bit afraid, unlike these champions.
KIMMEL: Yeah, they were getting yippy, unlike champions who don’t get… you know, when people see their life savings draining away, they do tend to get yippy.
REPORTER: You said that these tariffs would go into effect on Monday. You said no pause, and today there is a pause. So how can we have…
TRUMP: It’s not a question of that. You have to have flexibility. I could say here’s a wall and I’m going to go through that wall. I’m gonna go through it no matter what and keep going and you can’t go through the wall.
Sometimes you have to be able to go under the wall around the wall, or over the wall. These guys know that better than anybody, right? You got to go around them sometimes. You’re not going to go through it.
KIMMEL: Hey, so wait, hold on a minute, now you can go under the wall and around the wall. Aren’t you the guy who said build the wall 50 zillion times? Now the wall doesn’t work.
The bottom line, this was not his plan. He probably didn’t even have a plan. He’s riffing. He’s tariffing through the whole thing is what he’s doing.
There’s little doubt that the reason Trump backed off is because his approval rating plummeted just right alongside the stock market. Trump’s approval rating is the lowest it’s been since he took office, and his fellow Republican lawmakers are none too pleased.
That won’t stop the liars over on Fox from trying to tell everyone that the “super genius” has any idea what the f**k he’s going.
