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Donald Went To Wisconsin But No One Is Sure Why

June 8, 2026
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Donald Went To Wisconsin But No One Is Sure Why
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Wisconsin Rep. Drunken Van Orden is experiencing electoral dysfunction as the election approaches in just a few months. His presumptive opponent, Rebecca Cooke, has outraised him for two straight quarters. Furthermore, a recent poll showed Cooke with a four-point lead, which is a big deal for a district that leans right.

As a result, the Trump administration has been rallying around Trump’s little bitch. Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins has been to the state twice in the past few weeks. Secretary of Brain Worms Bobby Kennedy, Jr, was there earlier this week. And on Friday, the Commander-in-Sleep came out there to muster up support for DVO.

However, the official reason for the trip was for Trump to hold a roundtable discussion about agriculture and the whole fat lot of good his policies have – or have not – done for farmers. Except that Trump was the only one talking for almost the entire time. And observers noted that what he was saying was the usual stump speech he gives at rallies. Apparently, they were calling it a roundtable discussion so that he could sit on his fat ass the entire time to spare his cankles the misery of trying to support his obese body.

Trump talked very little about agriculture, and when he did, it only served to remind people why he is so unpopular. He reminded them that he is why gas prices are so high, and that he is the reason why they can’t get their produce to other countries.

What Trump talked about was Washington, such as how he was mucking up historical landmarks like the Lincoln Memorial, the Reflecting Pool, and that spire thing for that Washington guy. It wrapped up with the handful of people on the stage with him singing paeans to him. At the end, Trump needed help to go down one step:

It should be noted that this event – whatever it was – was not going down in the history books as one of his most bigly ones. It was held in a huge steel pole barn during a raging thunderstorm, which sometimes made it hard to hear. There were only a few hundred of the MAGA cultists who were willing to stand out in the pouring rain, waiting to get in.



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